Charming Lauren
by Tunsun
Summary: Freya is working when two members of Team Starkid enter and ask her to write their new show, a Charmed Musical, with them. When Freya meets Lauren, sparks fly, which could be a problem with Freya's girlfriend Mariana. Knowledge of Charmed isn't necessary. RPF LaurenxOC
1. Chapter 1

Here's my first attempt at RPF. While knowledge of _Charmed_ is not necessary, it's a good show and I recommend it.

This is going to develop slowly... I'm planning on it being kind of long. I'd love feedback - I always want to keep growing as a writer. So let me know what you think!

**Chapter 1**

My pencil scribbled across the page. Determined to get the sentence finished, I ignored the customers for a few seconds.

I regretted it when I looked up. Bam! Right in front of me stood two men I recognized instantly.

I couldn't speak. "You're… You're Brian Holden and Nick Lang!" I stuttered.

Pointedly ignoring the song that entered my brain, I kicked myself for sounding like the crazed fangirl I was. I cleared my throat and continued in a forced calm voice, "How can I help you?"

They laughed. "It's fine, we like fans," Brian told me. "Actually this makes our question much less awkward for two guys to ask…"

I could feel the blush creeping up my cheeks in embarrassment. "What's your question?" I asked before it got too bad. I hoped.

Nick took a breath. "A lot of people were… complaining that… the girls weren't in _Holy Musical B man _enough. We asked the girls what they thought, and they said that the best show for a girl-centric storyline would be _Charmed_."

My breath caught in my throat. Some Starkid girls watched _Charmed_? Talk about fandoms colliding! I'd loved the show since I discovered it – actually, since Mariana introduced me to it. I'd even written fanfiction for it.

"You're… going to do a _Charmed_ parody musical?" I asked. If my brain had been functioning at a normal speed, this would have been overwhelming. Luckily for me, it was a little slow at the moment since I was concentrating so much on keeping my breathing regular while talking to Starkids.

"Maybe… we were going to watch it, see if any ideas pop up," Brian explained.

"What were you writing?" Nick asked.

I was a bit confused by the randomness of this question, so I sputtered before answering "Just… putting my ideas on paper. It's not a big deal, just a short story."

"So you're a writer." It wasn't a question, so I just nodded. "And you know about this _Charmed_ show?" Nick pressed further. I nodded again.

He didn't say anything else though, so Brian asked me where the _Charmed_ DVDs were. "And can you point us to the most important episodes?"

"Yeah," I said, my voice surprising me. "I know _Charmed_ really well – it's helped me a lot in my life."

"Do you think it'll make a good musical? I mean, is it funny? Is it already a parody?" Nick worried as I lead them to the TV section of the store.

"Actually yeah. There's a ton of material to draw from – the show ran for 8 years – and there were funny moments but it's not a comedy show. There's a lot to make fun of though… and the girls were right when they said it's the perfect girl-power show." I stopped in front of the right section of the store, having memorized the location of them the day I started working here.

"Sounds good!" Brian paused. "Is there any chance we can rent these for less or trade them back in? Because that's a lot of money…"

"Brian!" Nick cut him off with a wild gesture towards the doors.

I caught a glimpse of them before Nick and Brian ducked down behind the DVD rack, dragging me with them. Lauren Lopez and Jaime Lyn Beatty. Two of the most beautiful girls in the world.

Brian put a finger to his lips, shushing me before I even had the chance to ask why they were hiding from the girls. I nodded to show that I understood, but continued to look at him quizzically.

Either he didn't notice or he didn't care, because the next moment he was half-running, hunched over, to the end of the aisle before recoiling like he'd been burned and raced back to Nick and I.

He didn't make it though – not before the voice of the literal girl of my dreams sounded through the store. "I told you I saw them!"

I froze. Was I about to meet her? It had been intense enough meeting the boys.

Brian swore under his breath as the girls rounded the corner at a run. He then switched and stood, attempting to look nonchalant as though he hadn't just done a series of ninja-like sprints through a video store.

I stood up awkwardly when I realized Nick had as well.

"What've you got there, Nick?" Jaime asked teasingly. She'd seen it.

But I didn't get to find out what he was holding, because at that moment Lauren met my eyes.

No matter who ridiculous it sounds, I will always stand by the statement that I felt like I was drowning. In the best way possible. It was like I had no control of my body, my mind, my feelings. Like was falling and she was there to catch me.

Like Mariana didn't exist.

That thought shook me out of my trance, just in time to hear Nick admit to holding the first season of _Charmed_.

I glanced over my shoulder at him for something to do, something to busy myself with so I'd be able to stop staring at Lauren. Sure enough, the purple box with the Charmed Ones' faces on it stared back at me.

I smiled. Even at times like this, _Charmed_ made everything better.

Lauren broke that spell though. "Who's this?" she asked Brian and Nick.

"I'm… Freya," I told them all, realizing I'd never given the boys my name. I pointedly looked first at Jaime and then the boys. I just couldn't handle all the emotions coursing through my body at the moment.

"She's a writer," Nick said. "And a _Charmed_ fan."

"She sure knows a hell of a lot more about it than we do!" Brian added.

"Nice to meet you," Jaime smiled and extended her hand. She is so sweet.

I shook her hand, then glanced at Lauren, steeling myself against the feelings that threatened to crash over me.

Lauren took it, meeting my eyes again. "Maybe you can help us write it," she suggested.

"Wait, what, really?" I glanced around the small circle of Starkids.

"Well we can't have boys writing a _Charmed_ show by themselves!" Jaime laughed.

"Well yeah, but… me?" my voice was many octaves too high.

They laughed. "When do you get off work?" Nick asked.

"Um… a… around six…" I stuttered, awkwardly dropping Lauren's hand when I realized I was still holding it. "But you don't have to wait around…" Six o'clock was over three hours away.

"We can come back," Jaime assured me. "What's your number? I'll text you so you have mine."

I told her, and sure enough I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket a minute later. "Got it," I said as I checked it, even showing her her own message before realizing how dumb that must have looked.

Lauren was grinning. "Come over after work. Let's school these boys on the wonders of _Charmed_."

I couldn't control myself. I let out a fangirl squeal and did what probably looked like a failed skip-jump hybrid.

Instantly afterward, I felt all the blood rush to my face. I tried to breathe normally as I explained, "I'm sorry… I just had some sort of spasm there… I'm gonna walk away now, before I embarrass myself any more…"

They were all laughing. Brian grabbed a hold of my shoulder and spun me back around towards the group.

_They're all laughing because of me_, I though. I couldn't believe it. These people had taught me how to smile again, and I had made them laugh. I broke into a wide grin at the thought.

"Okay…" Jaime giggled. "Text me when you're done, we'll pick you up… hang on. I just realized we all just assumed you've got nothing better to do than watch and oldish TV show with a bunch of strangers." She paused, searching for the right words.

"Do you have a life?" Lauren jumped in.

I laughed nervously. "Well, I was going to have dinner with my girlfriend… but she'll understand. She's kind of a Starkid too, and we see each other all the time." Hell, we live together!

"Girlfriend?" There was nothing mean in Brian's voice, only surprise.

I looked down. "Um… yeah. I hope… that's okay?"

"Oh, we don't care!" Jaime said quickly, pulling me in for a hug. "Good for you, finding someone." She pulled away a little, and I guess I still looked worried because she grabbed both my shoulders in her hands and looked me straight in the eye before continuing, "Look, no one on the team is going to mind. I promise."

"If they were going to, I'd have kicked their butts a long time ago," Lauren stepped in, pushing Jaime and I back together.

Plus the small matter of pressing herself against my side, her left arm wrapped around me and her right around Jaime.

"It's all good," she murmured into my ear.

"Yes. Yes it is." I focused my energy on calming my pounding heart.

She pulled away after what must have been a few second later, but could have been days for all I knew. "Go back to work. We'll see you at six!" I checked out the rental of _The Charmed Box Set: Seasons 1 and 2_, and watched them as they left.

Lauren paused at the door and waved at me. Grinning, she smiled and actually winked.

My heart stopped, and when it started again it was beating twice as fast as normal. She disappeared around the corner.

"What the hell just happened?" I asked out loud, before turning to see a middle aged woman brandishing _Star Wars IV_ at me.


	2. Chapter 2

I meant to put this disclaimer on the last chapter, but I forgot. I don't own Team Starkid. That's called slavery. Also, I do not actually know any of them. I just appreciate their charm. 3 I was a little nervous putting this up here, because it's not LaurWalk or Bropez. I also want to make the point that I am not saying Lauren is bisexual, and this is nothing more than a fangirl dream (although could you imagine how the internet would explode if she was?). Thank you for the lovely reviews, they mean a lot to me! And I really do believe they should make a _Charmed_ musical. I would trust them with that task, they could do it justice like they did with AVPM and the others.

**Chapter 2**

After dealing with the _Star Wars_ woman, I texted Mariana: [Hey, hun. I don't think I'll be home for dinner… you'll never guess what happened!]

No one was in the store, so I doodled while I waited for her to text me back.

[Aren't you supposed to be a work? ;) Why are you texting me?], came the reply, and then a moment later, [What happened?]

I smiled to myself, having predicted what she'd say. We knew each other so well.

And that was a good thing, right?

Shaking off the thought, I answered her with [Guess who I met.]

I couple kids wandered into the store, dragging their mother with them.

A group of teenagers came next, violently avoiding the family and going to look at the video games.

[Someone from Charmed? Stacy London? *GASP* A KITTY?] she finally answered.

I grinned to myself before replying, [Aren't you funny? :/ Don't mock me.] I didn't bother to add the jk. She knew.

Sure enough, the answer came back [lol you know I love you. So who?]

[4 members of TSK!] I couldn't hold out any longer. [*happy dance*] I added.

Almost instantly, she responded. [What? Seriously? That's Totally Awesome!]

My grin spread further. [Thank you for humoring me. The REAL exciting thing I that they invited me over tonight to watch Charmed… because THEY MIGHT BE MAKING A CHARMED MUSICAL! AND THEY WANT ME TO CO-WRITE IT!]

As an afterthought, I followed this long text with one comprised entirely of exclamation points and smiley faces.

[Legit? Freya, this is huge! Awesome! 3]

"Um… excuse me?" It was the kids' mother. She looked exhausted.

"Oh I'm sorry!" I blushed, tucking my phone away while I checked out her movies: My Little Pony and some horror flick I'd never heard of. It was quite the collection.

She left as a few groups of pre-teens walked in. Keeping an eye on them and the teenagers with the video games, I answered Mariana, [Is that not the coolest thing in the world?]

[It's pretty damn awesome. Hey, I've got class in a few minutes, can I text you later? Tell me how it goes. Get something signed for me or something ]

[Sure. Eep Opp Ork Ah Ah], I texted back.

I felt her laugh and roll her eyes at the same time. Sure enough, the response came, [You're such a dork. But I lessthanthree you too.]

[Lessthanthree? Oh! A heart.] It was tradition. We always completed that quote.

And we always would. Because I loved her.

[3], She texted back once more. I sighed and settled in for what looked to be a boring three hours.

[On our way! Hang tight!] read Jaime's text back.

A few minutes and a boring conversation with the next shift later, a car pulled up and Lauren jumped out of the passenger seat.

"I gotta go, that's my ride," I told the boy, and stepped outside.

Lauren was running to me, and a moment later I found out why. Brian was chasing her, darting around the car and bolting after her.

She was laughing, but screaming "Help! He's going to kill me!"

I sprinted to her, pulling her behind me as I stood between her and Brian.

"Really, Lo? You're going to use a girl you've met _once_ as a human shield?"

"That's exactly WHY she's my shield!" she shouted back, standing on her toes and wrapping her arms around my shoulders from behind. "You can't touch her!"

I was so entranced by the feeling of her warm body covering my back that I almost missed it when Brian grinned evilly. "Wanna bet?" With that, he tackle-tickled me, driving me backwards, even closer to Lauren's body.

I ignored the feelings already rushing back into my system. Laughing, I attacked him back, my hands finding the right places on the sides of his exposed midsection. He crumpled like a used tissue, flailing his arms madly to try and separate me from his stomach.

I kept shifting my point of attack, though, and forced him to stay on the defensive. Eventually he twisted away and came back flying at me. As he did so, I became very aware of Lauren leaving me. I twisted to watch her dart around me and meet Brian head-on, then slide around to his side and begin tickling him from there.

I took my cue, and mirrored her, dashing around to the left and continuing the assault until he fell to his knees, holding his sides and shaking from laughing so hard.

A moment passed in which I caught my breath, only to have it knocked back out of me as Lauren jumped into my arms.

Sort of. Neither of us had been planning it, so her feet touched the ground a second later, but her arms still stayed wrapped around my neck, pulling me into her.

My skin was on fire, everywhere she touched. "You're good!" she said in my ear. "It usually takes at least three of us to take Brian down!"

I laughed automatically, bringing my mind back to practical responses to the situation. Lauren Lopez was hugging me. The expected response?

I wrapped my arms around her back, trying not to press her into me more than she already was, for my own sanity.

Okay, that was done. Words now. What was a logical response to admiration of a job well done in the tickle fight with near strangers in a parking lot?

"Thank you," was what I decided on.

She giggled and hugged me more tightly. What the hell. I hugged her back for real, curving my body around her tiny frame.

That's when another body slammed into us. "Come on, I don't get a hug?" Brian interjected.

Lauren and I broke apart, and she pushed his chest. "No." she told him.

She snaked her right arm around my waist and pulled me close again. "She's my hugger." She paused and looked at me. Her face was only inches away. I could smell her breath and feel the heat radiating from her skin. "You're a really good hugger, you know that?"

Time stopped. I felt myself grin like an idiot and create a character who smugly said, "I've been told," but it was like I was watching myself make the joke.

She laughed, and looped her arm through mine, beginning to walk back to the car. We split once we reached it, her climbing into the passenger seat again and I settled in the back, with Brian driving.

Able to think again, I tried to process that had just happened. I had just hugged Lauren Lopez – no, Lauren Lopez had tackle-hugged me.

And she was really good at it.

… and she was probably straight.

… and I had a girlfriend, anyway.

Crap.


	3. Chapter 3

Yup. Still don't own Team Starkid. That's still slavery. Still don't know them. This is nothing more than a fangirl dream.

Also, I wasn't creative enough to come up with a Starkid story for Freya, so I just used my own. So... welcome to my life.

PS The end of this gets a little smutty... (it's not that bad) I just want to be clear that I respect Lauren and everything she does and stands for. I just made this happen for Freya. Without it, there's no story.

Chapter 3

We got there fast, only a few minutes later. "It probably would have been a better idea to use the Manor instead of my tiny apartment," Lauren mentioned as she lead Brian and me up the stairs. I looked down so as not to stare.

"Eh, who cares? We'll snuggle," he answered, and I made a silent vow to _not_ sit next to Lauren. It wasn't fair to Mariana.

"Hey guys. This is Freya," Lauren said as she opened the door and stepped through.

I looked around and blinked. It's really bizarre to see a room full of people you're used to seeing on the internet sitting right in front of you. Besides Nick and Jaime, Julia and Meredith were there.

"Hey Freya. Cool name," Meredith told me from her perch on the arm of the couch.

"Um… Hi," I managed to answer, totally starstruck.

"We ordered Pizza, that okay?" Nick asked me with a friendly smile.

"Yeah… pizza's great." I forced down another fangirl squeal and followed Brian over to the couch, sitting carefully between him and Nick. Safety. In between boys.

There were three solid seconds of silence before Jaime asked me how long I'd been a fan of _Charmed_.

"A couple years… Actually by girlfriend introduced it to me, back before we were together. It's been a huge part of my life ever since."

Meredith nodded, accepting this. "How about Starkid? How long have you been a fan?"

"The real question being, how long ago did you stop being a Dikrats?"

Everyone rolled their eyes. "Brian, 'Dikrats' isn't going to catch on," Lauren informed him from where she crouched, inserting the first _Charmed_ DVD into the player. "… And why did you pluralize it?"

"Because 'Tarkid' sounds dumb."

"Actually, it almost has… I've seen some people use it," I cut into the building argument.

"So how long?" Julia jumped in before Lauren could retort.

"Since July 2009. I was at a summer camp, and they all told me to watch AVPM… I was hooked." I smiled at Julia, leaning around Brian to do so.

There was a knock at the door. "That'll be the pizza," Nick said, standing and going to the door. Julia and Lauren, having fiddled with the DVD player long enough, followed him through the door, presumably to share the cost.

"So you're pretty dedicated." Meredith guessed, leaning forward to talk to me around the space were Nick was.

"To Starkid? Yeah, you guys have been a huge part of my life for a while. The song _Not Alone_" – I broke off and turned my head to look at Jaime – "Has been really important for me. You have no idea what the song has done for me. And _Get Back Up_… I…" I paused. Did I really want to tell them?

I decided it wasn't that big a deal. "I have a panic disorder – long story, because of an injury I got years ago – and every time I feel like I'm going to have panic attack, I put _Get Back Up_ and _Not Alone_ on repeat." I paused, looking around at the faces of the people surrounding me. They met my eyes, each one seeming to really care. "Those songs taught me how to breathe again." I saw Lauren, Nick, and Julia come around the corner into the room. Julia sat down but Nick and Lauren remained, just watching. "The shows taught me now to smile again… I'd gotten really depressed when I couldn't do anything because of the injury, and Starkid kept me going…" I trailed off.

The next instant, the world seemed to crush me.

Well, Starkid is a world of its own, so I suppose I literally did as those incredibly talented people dove in for a group hug. I had no idea who was where, and frankly it didn't matter. The world was beautiful. I was loved.

The hug slowly broke apart, and it was only then that I saw how Lauren had landed from what must have been some sort of wild leap across the room.

She was now sprawled across the remains of the hug, Brian with his head shoved across my chest by the girls and Nick pushing from the right. Meredith was holding me from the left, her arms wrapped around my shoulders from the back. She must have fallen from the couch's arm to the seat, where she was now being held by Lauren's grip. Lauren herself was halfway back onto the couch, but with one leg still spread over the small table which now had several pizza boxes and a bag of chips stacked sloppily onto it.

The rest of the tangle of bodies untwisted itself, Lauren taking what had been Nick's seat and reaching over to the bag of chips. So much for not sitting next to Lauren. She pressed "Play" on the remote before settling back.

"You're taking notes, Nick?" I heard Jaime laugh from the other arm of the couch as she reached for some pizza.

"Well if we're going to be writing from it, we'll need to remember," he answered sensibly.

The boy's reactions were hysterical. First, "Hey, they're pretty hot!" and "Damn girl!" followed by "… There's a cat following them? … There's a WITCH cat following them. Okay…" followed by "… Doesn't really rhyme, does it?"

"They do better in later seasons," Meredith told Brian while I laughed. That last one was, after all, a _Charmed_ quote in itself.

"Well… the first spell Paige writes is a haiku, but she gets the hang of the rhyming thing," Julia added.

I looked around Brian and beamed at her. "I love people who know _Charmed_," I said, twisting the other way to look at Meredith too. She grinned back at me over Lauren's shoulder, planted firmly between us.

"I'm sorry – Paige? Who is that?" Nick asked from the floor by the other side of the couch.

"You'll see. Eventually. Season four," Lauren shot back at him, re-settling so her legs were tucked underneath her, her body turned towards me. She smiled at me before turning her head back towards the TV.

A few episodes later, and Piper was crying at the end of "Dead Man Dating." It had been hard enough when Lauren had snuggled up to me when Piper had tried to kiss Mark the ghost. Now her legs were laying across mine, her weight on her hip as we both leaned back into the couch cushions. Her arms were looped lazily around my waist and her head was resting on the couch by my shoulder.

This girl was trying to kill me.

Mark's funeral had just ended on screen, and I was almost crying. I cannot stand to watch Piper Halliwell cry, I never could.

Her eyes still watching the screen, Lauren poked me in the side. Not hard – but not accidentally. When I looked at her, she smiled, although her eyes never left the Charmed girls, now entering their house. She did it again, and again when Prue's surprise birthday party erupted from the next room.

Finally, I returned her poke.

Her smile grew wider as she fought back, still focused on the show. When I returned it again, she stopped poking me and tickled me for real.

I laughed before attacking back. Her gaze finally broke away from the screen where the credits were flashing over the Book of Shadows. She almost cackled as she tried to defend herself.

It was one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard.

She almost stood on the couch next to me, then jumped over the back of it, somehow managing to keep her hands on my body.

This beautiful girl was actually trying to kill me with her perfection. I was sure of it.

Without thinking, I followed her when she bolted from the room. I burst through the door she'd been trying to shut against me, only to fall to my knees when she slid around me and tackle-tickled me from behind as she'd done to Brian.

Lauren climbed on top of me, pushing me down so I was on my back on her bedroom floor. She'd done it slowly, ensuring that my head didn't slam into the floorboards, but it was still forceful, her muscular body moving above me, pushing me farther and farther down.

Suddenly my wrists were in her hands, pressed to the floor above my head so I couldn't tickle her as she pinned me.

Her body was warm. Her hips rested on mine, pressing down ever so slightly, her knees on the outsides of my legs. Her chest heaved with laughter, the red tank top doing nothing to hide anything. Her eyes were full of light and warmth, staring into mine from above.

I couldn't move. I was completely at her mercy.

And oddly, I didn't mind too much.

Then the look in her eyes changed, it cooled. Her expression changed too, to something I'd rarely seen on any girl's face.

Our breaths mingled in the air between us, our chests brushing gently with every heave of what was no longer laughter. Her hips shifted against mine and something exploded in my pelvis.

And then she was kissing me, and nothing existed but her body over mine, her lips on mine, and the little sounds of her breath resounding in my head.

Her tongue slipped into my mouth and I let out a small moan of surprise and delight. All too soon it was gone, so I returned the favor.

I felt her entire body tense against mine, strong and beautiful and flawless. "Freya…" she whispered against my lips before plunging her tongue back into my mouth.

Her voice's pitch struck me as odd. It was higher than I'd expected, higher than –

"L-Lauren…" I stuttered, straining my arms against the hands that still held them firmly over my head.

She pulled back a little, meeting my eyes and knowing instantly that something was wrong. She gave me a look of half confusion, half lust. It was adorable.

"… I have a girlfriend," I said before I could get too caught up in her expression.

The look on her face dropped instantly, replaced by panic. "Shit," she said as she released my wrists and sat back, her legs folded at the knee but still spread on the outside of my hips. She startled when she realized she was still sitting between my legs, and backed up again, this time sitting on the floor with me and sliding backwards until her back hit the wall.

"I… forgot," she added by way of explanation. Her chest was heaving for a different reason now. "I'm sorry."

I didn't know what to say, so I just stared at her from where I'd propped myself up on my elbows to watch her. She moved like a warrior in battle, panicked and desperate but still carrying a calm confidence that only she could pull off.

After a moment, she looked down. "… You like me?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Lauren! Where'd all our chocolate go?" Julia came to the door.

"I don't know," Lauren told her, her face the picture of prefect innocence that of course proved her guilt. It took me a moment to realize that she was doing it to protect what we'd just done, by confessing to something so petty and chocolate thievery. Make sure no one noticed my face, which I was sure still told the story of what happened. She's such an actress.

Julia rolled her eyes.

"Well I bought more!" Lauren assured her, standing and leaving with Julia.

I stayed on her bedroom floor for a minute, trying and failing to understand what had just happened.

The only thing I did know was the answer to the question she'd whispered. I said it out loud. There was no denying it.

"Yes. Yes, I like you." Shit.


	4. Chapter 4

Finally got this typed! I wrote most of this in a tree, so that's why the random conversation topic I chose is what it is.

This is a little bit of a filler chapter, but it's also necessary for the story. It's time to meet Mariana! ...because I like torturing my characters. The next one will focus more on Freya and Lauren. Hope you like it!

Chapter 4

Meredith had taken Lauren's seat, so I thankfully sat back down between her and Brian. "Dream Sorcerer" was playing, but everyone got distracted when Lauren pranced in from the kitchen, triumphantly holding several large candy bars.

I understood. Five episodes of _Charmed_ is, admittedly, a lot, especially when it's season 1.

"Wait, what time is it?" I asked suddenly.

"Um, half past 10," Jamie told me.

"Why, do you need to go? 'Cause you can sleep over if you want…" Julia told me. I saw Lauren's face flash with momentary panic before she regained her composure. She smiled welcomingly as if nothing had happened, glancing around to see if anyone had noticed her slip-up.

"I'd love to, but I have an early shift tomorrow…"

"I get up early," Nick offered. "I'll drive you."

Oh. I hadn't wanted to admit this to them – especially not Lauren – but I had no choice this time.

"Mariana and I have this thing where we don't spend the night anywhere alone…"

"So invite her over." I felt my stomach drop like a stone at Julia's suggestion. My girlfriend and Lauren in the same room? After what had just happened? There was no way that was a good idea.

But I couldn't think of an excuse. They already knew Mariana was a Starkid too, and there wasn't a Starkid fan alive who didn't want to meet them.

Besides, I didn't really want to leave.

"Yeah, we'd love to meet her," Jamie added.

"I'm sure she'd love to meet you too," I paused, stalling as long as possible. "Let me text her." Instead of calling her, which would take much less time.

I chanced a glance at Lauren. Her eyes were wide, trying to catch mine. Once she did, she shook her head 'no' slightly, before dissolving into a warm smile in case someone looked over. I tried to tell her wordlessly that I had no excuse. One of her friends would undoubtedly pick up on something if I protested any more.

So I shot that text to Mariana, inviting her over and telling her to bring me a change of clothes.

Lauren avoided me like the plague, and found myself plunged into a conversation about tree-climbing techniques with Brian, Nick, and Meredith.

"Well of course you have to step close to the trunk of the tree, all I'm saying is that sometimes thin branches _can_ support you. You just have to test them first."

"How high have you ever climbed?" Brian challenged me.

"There was a tree in Riede cove that dangled me 60 feet over a marsh."

They exchanged various glances of mixed doubt and impressiveness. Before I could defend myself, though, there was a knock at the door.

"Really? 60 feet?" Brian called after me as I followed Julia to the door.

Mariana was already smiling down at me when we opened the door. She's taller than me, and curvy. Her skin is chocolate brown, her hair black with dyed red streaks throughout. But what makes her beautiful to me is the way she carries herself. She's just got this calm confident vibe about her that I really admire.

She was carrying her guitar. Crap. I knew where this was going. There was no way for this to not be awkward.

"… Hi…" she said, clearly feeling out of place.

"Team Starkid, this is my girlfriend Mariana," I introduced her. "Mar, I assume you know who's who?"

She nodded and flashed a smile.

"Well hi, nice to meet you," Jaime said, standing and walking over to us in the doorway to the kitchen. Mari put her guitar down and returned the hug Jaime offered. In no time it had turned into another pile-up of Starkids.

Caught in the crossfire, I looked up just in time to see Lauren join last. This was only going to get worse.

Sure enough, no sooner had the hug broken apart than Meredith pointed to Mari's guitar and asked, "Do you play?"

"No, I just like carrying guitars around on subway systems at 11pm," she answered jokingly. "It's so convenient."

Meredith caught my eye. "She's sarcastic, I approve."

I laughed. "Thanks for the Starkid blessing," I answered.

"So why the guitar?" Nick asked.

Mariana blushed a little. "I know she won't ask because she's too polite, but Lauren –" she broke off, finding Lauren's eyes in the group – "Freya has always wanted to sing 'Granger Danger' with you."

"Mari," I stopped her. "We _really_ don't have to do this now." I begged her with my eyes to drop it.

"I kinda wanna make you sing, actually," Brian admitted.

"You're gonna be spending time with us, you're gonna be singing," Julia added. The others nodded their agreement.

"Wait… I'm gonna be spending that much time with you? You're actually going to write that musical?"

"_We're_ going to write that musical," Nick told me.

"Yeah, you think we made the boys sit through four and a half episodes of _Charmed_ for no reason?" Jaime asked.

"You do random crap like that all the time," Brian protested. "But yeah, we're gonna write it. There's some good material in there. Now sing. You a soprano or alto?"

"I'm a soprano, but I can sing Joey's part," I told them, hoping I could hold it with my nerves psyching me out.

"Hang on, does nobody care if _I'm_ okay with this?" Lauren put in.

"No, Lopez. Just sing with the girl," Brian told her roughly. He cracked a smile at the end.

"Thanks, B-Hol. Really feeling the love," she answered snidely. Our eyes met for half a heartbeat, and I know we were thinking the same thing.

"Well do you mind, Lauren?" Mariana broke our little moment.

As she should.

Because she's my girlfriend.

Lauren smiled and shook her head, playing it all off as a joke. "You game?" she asked me. "Can you hold a harmony?"

"I can try," I told her. I usually could, when Mariana and I sang 'Granger Danger.' We'd definitely done it enough for me to be as sure as I could be.

But singing in front of Team Starkid… _with Lauren Lopez_… was a little different from jamming with my girlfriend.

Who had just asked me to sing a love song with the beautiful girl I'd just made out with on her bedroom floor. This got complicated really fast.

"You've got this, Freya," Mari smiled at me.

I grinned back at her as she took the guitar out of its case and tuned it.

I glanced awkwardly around the circle of Starkids, waiting for the opening chords. _This can't be real,_ I thought. _I'm going to sing for them… with Lauren… right, Lauren. The other major issue of the moment. An issue most fangirls and boys would kill to have._

Mariana's guitar cut off my train of thought. Forgetting the words for a second, I panicked before remembering them just in time to start.

_"Here I am, face to face_

_With a situation I never thought I'd ever see,_

_It's strange how a dress can take a mess,_

_And make her nothing less than beautiful to me._"

I made it through the rest of the verse okay, looking around at everyone but Lauren.

I looked at Mariana while claiming my love for Hermione Granger, hoping she understood that no matter what happened or how she found out about Lauren (because I had no doubt that it would eventually surface), I truly did love her.

But then Lauren started singing, and my eyes were drawn to her. I couldn't look away, remembering the feel of her body above me, her lips pressed to mine…

Her eyes, wide and open and honest, staring at me as she sang her love for another girl.

Except it wasn't real. She wasn't really admitting love, not to Hermione. She couldn't be.

But it seemed so real. It looked like she was singing a secret love, a love for me.

She was acting. She had to be acting. What we had wasn't love – we'd only met today! She didn't know me. She was just in character.

Which is what I continued to tell myself as the bridge came upon us. I gathered my strength and met her eyes as I sustained Ron's "_Know_." Caught in the character and bound by her gaze, I shot Lauren a playful smile as I sang "_She'll laugh, poor Weasley. Come on Ron – You gotta let it go… you gotta let it go!_"

That line took on a whole new meaning, and I was suddenly thankful for the multitude of times Mari and I had drilled this song. Joey's part came naturally, and I was left free to perform with Lauren Lopez.

Who looked eerily like she was in love.

I managed to not over think that fact, choosing to shove it to the back of my mind. I might never get the chance to sing with her again, and I knew I'd hate myself for not taking advantage of the moment.

Our voices mixed well, the overall sound balanced and strong. I nailed the harmonies when the verses ended, her voice soaring over mine.

On the last "danger" I decided to go up like Mariana usually did when we sang together. Show them that I actually was a soprano. I hit Lauren's note on 'dan' and jumped the octave on 'ger.'

I have no idea what anyone else thought, because my eyes were still fixed on Lauren. She looked impressed, something that shocked me, and for a moment I could've sworn she was going to close the distance between us again.

We were both jolted out of the world we'd created when the other Starkids started applauding. I tore my gaze away from Lauren and was met with a tackle-hug from Jaime and Brian.

My face broke out into a smile as Nick said, "That was great!" and Julia nodded. Meredith was looking thoughtful and surprised about something, but nodded her agreement.

I had no time to wonder about that, though, because Mariana chose that moment to hug me from behind. "You did it, Freya," she whispered as her arms snaked around me, between Jaime, Brian, and I. "You sang with Lauren Lopez."

_And you made it happen,_ I thought. _That was my dream ever since I first saw her. That makes you undoubtedly the best girlfriend in the world._

But instead it was ripping us apart. I could feel it.

Just like I could feel Lauren's eyes on us, imagining wrenching her away from me.


	5. Chapter 5

To Pigwidgeon: Thanks for pointing that out! Someone in my testing group did too, but I guess I forgot to change it (I'm so ashamed. I feel like the worst fan in the world). I think I fixed them all, let me know if you see something else

Also, to everyone: listen to what Freya says to Lauren. No matter what the problem is, try to find someone who cares about you and talk to them instead of holding it in until you explode. Take care of yourself.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed/followed/whatever else. It means a lot to me! Keep the feedback coming, I love to learn from my mistakes and become a better writer.

*Still don't own or know Team Starkid, and I am not dating Lauren Lopez (but anytime she wants to change that is fine with me...)*

The beginning of this is really intense, and the end turns into filler. Sorry.

Chapter 5

The floor dug into my hip and shoulder.

Lauren and Julia's living room floor was not comfortable. At all. Even with Mari behind me, one arm draped over me. Even surrounded by Team Starkid, the people who had save my life.

It was even less comfortable because I had to pee. Really badly.

But I didn't want to move. I didn't want to leave Mariana.

But I had to. _Ignore the symbolism_, I told my writer side as I swung my girlfriend's arm to the floor behind me and got carefully to my feet, picking my way between the Starkid's limbs thrown all over the place. Nick and Julia had claimed the couch, each twisted in a corner to give the other room. Jaime was using Brian's stomach as a pillow, Meredith on hers, as they'd realized there weren't enough pillows to go around. Brian had one though, asleep close to where Mari and I were, and Lauren was curled up where the coffee table had been before we moved it, still piled high with empty pizza boxes, chip bags, and candy wrappers.

Once I had finished, I opened the door and started walking back to the living room. I guess Lauren had other plans, though, because she was waiting in the shadows of the hallway. She clamped her hand over my mouth and pushed me back into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her.

"I know it's four in the morning, but I just wanna talk," she said quickly, gripping her doorknob so tightly her knuckles turned white. She turned slowly to look at me, not letting go.

"… Okay," I stuttered before gathering my bearings. "Do you want to explain what happened last night?"

"You kissed me back!" she hissed.

"You never should have kissed me in the first place! I have a girlfriend!"

"If you love her so much, why'd you let me kiss you?" Her eyes were blazing.

"You had my arms pinned to the floor!" _I couldn't have escaped if I had wanted to…_

She was about to answer, but cut off sharply when someone in the other room coughed. Looking defeated, she slid down the wall by the bathroom door and sat there. "I'm sorry," she whispered, staring at her feet. "I lost control. I don't know what to do… I've never done that before…" she paused. "I've never felt that before."

I couldn't react. Lauren Lopez was apologizing for kissing me. This could not be happening. "Never… done what?" was what my mouth decided to ask without my consent.

"Oh, I don't know, kissed a girl on my bedroom floor?" She almost laughed, but there was no humor in her face. "I've never wanted to do that before. I've liked girls, sure, but never that much." She didn't look at me, continuing to study her shoes. "I've… never wanted to tackle a girl to the floor and… do that," she hesitated a little between each word. "I've never… wanted to snuggle romantically with another girl. I've never imagined a long-term future with a girl out of character.

"But that's all that's been going through my head since I saw you. You, and… us." She still wouldn't meet my eyes, hers fixed religiously to the tile floor. "I know you know how I feel, because when I look at you… you're looking back. You were singing to me like you loved me, and I let myself believe it for a moment." To my horror, I saw that there were tears in her eyes. I knelt down and started shuffling towards her, having been too stupid to walk forward before kneeling down. I stopped before I reached her.

"The problem –" I cut off and cleared my throat – "Is that I was singing about being in love. And you were there." She let out a sob and nodded, as though this accepting this as me telling her I didn't like her.

I should have left it at that. I should not have continued, but something compelled me to. "And the bigger problem is that I do like you, too," I whispered.

Her head snapped up and she met my eyes for the first time since she'd yelled at me.

"… But I have a girlfriend, Lauren. She's good to me and we have a lot in common. I love her. I can't throw that away."

"I would never ask you to," she told me sincerely. "I just wish… that it was different." Another tear rolled down her cheek.

I shifted so I was on her right, my back against the door. I slid my left arm over her shoulders and wrapped the other one gently across her torso, pulling her towards me. I paused and took a breath. "I know what it's like to doubt everything you thought you knew about yourself. I always just assumed I was waiting for the right guy… and then I realized I was staring at the girls in the locker room. Just… I need you to promise me something, okay?" she nodded slightly into my shoulder, her head resting on my shoulder. "When you feel like this – like you're going to break down – come talk to me. Don't do anything stupid, don't hurt yourself… don't hold it in until you explode. Those are the worst things you can do." She nodded again as she snaked her arms around my waist. I started stroking her hair absent-mindedly. "I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you." I didn't doubt that I could hold that promise.

She was silent for a few minutes. "So why does this feel right?" she whispered finally. "We're on my bathroom floor. This should not be comfortable, but it is. And I know it is for you too because you haven't even tried to move."

I sighed. I would have laughed out of pity for myself if I'd been watching instead of living this moment. "Lauren…" I started, but had no argument ready.

She waited, but nothing came to me. "You can't tell me that didn't occur to you," she added.

Again, I had no retort, so I just kept holding her, my grip loose as I ran my fingers through her hair again and again. Friends did that, right? Wasn't "We play with each other's hair" one of the lines in "Holiday Club"?

But I was lying to myself again. Even if 'just friends' did that, it wasn't what I wanted. I knew it, Lauren knew it, and soon Mari would know.

But I loved Mari too.

… … []:) - Joey Richter Smiley … …

We sat together in silence for a few hours, until I could hear movement in the other room. Lauren had fallen asleep, curled up against me, and I forced myself to shake her awake before I looked at her. I knew I wouldn't be able to wake her up if I'd glanced down and seen her head nuzzled into the crook of my neck, her breathing even and the face calm, her body curved around mine, completely relaxed.

She was so beautiful.

"Wuzgoinon?" she asked as I pushed her gently upwards so she was sitting on her own.

"We need to go," I told her. "They're going to ask why we were in the bathroom together if we let them know. I'll go, follow me when you're more awake." I gathered my legs beneath me and tried to stand, but Lauren kept a hold on me.

I sighed. "Lauren, you really need to let me go." I pulled at her arms, still securely fastened around my waist.

She was still only semi-conscious, so I was able to unhook her interlocking fingers and stand. "Come on," I said, reaching down with both hands.

More awake now that she was missing a pillow, she grabbed both of my hands with hers and stood, wobbling slightly when she did.

I couldn't help it – I laughed. Her hair was bunched up on the right side, with an awkwardly flat spot where my shoulder had been, but smooth on the left where I'd been finger-combing it for the past few hours. Her eyes, usually so full of humor and life, were half-closed and droopy until I laughed. At that point, they snapped open and stared at me.

"What?" she asked, cracking a smile herself.

Instead of answering, I spun her around towards the mirror.

Her eyes widened. "My hair…" she managed, frantically grabbing the brush by the sink and running it through. "What the hell happened?"

I fought to quiet my laugh. "That's what happens when you fall asleep on your bathroom floor, Lauren. Try to avoid that in the future."

Staring at herself in the mirror with near-panic in her eyes, her face broke back into a smile and she answered, "It wasn't exactly my particular goal at the time, either."

I smiled and headed for the door. "Meet me out there in a few," I told her, choosing to not respond with an inquiry about _what exactly_ had been her goal last night.

She spun suddenly, grabbing my hand where it lay on the doorknob.

"What I told you last night – this morning, whatever –" she cut off, not knowing how to finish the thought.

"… It never happened," I assured her. "It's your story to tell – and I'd have no reason to expose you. It took me a long time to come out, too."

She blushed gratefully, and I felt her hand hesitate on mine for a second longer than necessary.

She pulled away, and I opened the door, entering the living room. Meredith was awake, and in the process of waking up Julia and Nick.

"Hey," she greeted me. "Where've you been?"

"Um, bathroom," I answered truthfully.

"Where's Lauren? I can't find her."

I discarded the Hufflepuff joke on the tip of my tongue, and answered instead, "Did you check her room?" Meredith shook her head. Relieved, I went on, "Maybe she decided the floor wasn't comfortable enough. I dunno."

She stared at me for a minute, making me uneasy. It was like she was trying to read me, trying to see how Lauren had fallen asleep on my shoulder – or worse, how she'd pinned me to the floor and stuck her tongue down my throat.

Meredith nodded then, and I relaxed. "You wake everyone up, I'll start breakfast. When do you have to be at work?"

"Um, eight," I told her. "What time is it?" she walked over to the kitchen door and poked her head through the opening.

"… 7:30," she told me.

"What? How did that happen?" I stared at her.

"Relax. Wake Nick up, he's driving you anyway. I'll get Lauren's plethora of cereals for you to choose from –" she cut off as she ducked back into the kitchen.

I shook Nick gently. Once it became clear that gentle shaking wasn't going to do much, I pulled him towards me, rolling his body over until his arm fell over the edge of the couch.

"Sit up, wake up, Nick," I muttered, halfway to myself and halfway to him.

He finally did, and I woke up Mariana easily. We ate breakfast in silence once we got Nick in the kitchen, one of us on either side.

"He's not usually like this," Meredith explained. "Must've stayed up too late."

"Only till two or so!" he tried to defend himself, having woken enough to do that. "I was writing last night, I got inspired."

"By season 1 of _Charmed_? Damn, they're good." Mari said with a wink at me. _Charmed_ pretty much brought us together.

I finally got to work, only a few minutes late. Nick was taking Mari to her first class of the day.

Near the end of my breaktime, I noticed a text from Jaime: [Girl's night tonight. You game?]

I paused, feeling the seconds tick away of my last 3 minutes of break. Who in their right mind would say no to that? At the same time, Lauren would be there… but the Lauren thing was settled, over. She was an actress, and as long as Mari was there to keep me in check, I would be fine. It would be like nothing had happened.

[Sure] I answered, then remembered that she hadn't technically invited Mari. [Can Mariana tag along?] I asked, and was relived when she answered almost immediately with [Woo! And sure.]

[Sweet… Can you ask her? My break's about to end and my phone's gonna die soon.] I gave her Mari's number.

She responded with another [Sure! No prob.] right as my manager walked outside.

"One sec," I muttered, typing out a [Thanks!] before heading inside.

When my shift finally ended, I turned my phone back on and was greeted with a text from Mari: [Get home asap. Starkid girl's night is at hour house!]

[What? Why?] I answered and instantly giggled, reminded of Krayonder's line in Starship.

[I invited them, that's why!]

I rolled my eyes. It was so Mariana. [Fair enough. What should I pick up?] She gave me a snack list, and I hopped on the bus and then the subway, laden with bags of food.

It was only as I was climbing the stairs to our apartment that it really sunk in. The girls of Team Starkid were coming to my house. They would see the mess we'd left and the variety of embarrassing things we had lying around. The girls would see them – Lauren would see them – what if they'd beat me to the house? I dropped half the bags and checked my phone – 6:20. There was a chance I'd have time to clear the room, at least…

Gathering the bags from where I'd dropped them, I fumbled with the door until it opened to seven pairs of eyes staring at me.


	6. Chapter 6

So here's a character for y'all to hate!

In all honesty, I hope everyone hates Nettie. I wasn't planning on her being so nasty, it just happened that way. I'm sorry if she offends anyone; her views are opposite mine, so don't blame me! She's just a person made out of all of my pet peeves.

Don't get drunk, because you will most likely do something stupid. I had my first taste being the only sober one at a party this week, so I wanted to address that; plus, I needed something to happen during what was going to be a filler chapter. (Mama Sandra is done now).

Fair warning, there is an exceptional amount of swearing in this chapter. Nothing you haven't heard the Starkids say, but still. And jealousy. There is a fair amount of jealousy here.

I honestly believe the best moment in this is Meredith's '_Music kids'_ moment. I just love that part.

*I still don't own or know any people whose names you recognize. Obviously. Although I have met nearly all of them. (Happy Dance)

**Chapter 6**

"Hi honey," said Mariana, already halfway to the door when I'd opened it. She took about half the bags I had been holding and set them on the table in front of the door. She kissed me softly, then turned and led the way so we were standing between the couch and the TV.

I glanced down at our hands, clasped after she'd grabbed mine. I smiled. This was right. Our hands fit together comfortably.

I scanned the Starkids in front of me – Jaime, Meredith, Denise, Julia, and Lauren – and found to my surprise that there was one I didn't recognize.

The one whose lap Lauren was sitting on.

My first reaction was: "What the fuck?"

My second reaction was: "Get the fuck off her lap, Lauren!"

My third reaction was: "…This is not my problem. She can do whatever the fuck she wants."

My fourth reaction was to tell all the previous ones to shut up and ignore the fact that Lauren was sitting on another girl's lap. That it wasn't my concern, that I had a girlfriend who loved me, and that I needed to say something hostess-like _right now_ before the other girls – especially Mari – picked up that something was wrong.

"Um… hi," was what decided to come out of my mouth. I forced myself to look at Jaime instead. "How is everyone?"

"Be right back," Mari whispered in my ear, ducking into the kitchen for bowls.

"I'm good… are you okay?" Jaime asked, analyzing my face.

I shot a glance around the room, remembering my panic as I'd mounted the stairs. Nothing was laying around – now that I thought about it, there was nothing really embarrassing anyway.

"Um… yeah." Mariana saved me, coming back from the kitchen with bowls. I busied myself with opening bags of snack foods and separating them out, avoiding Lauren's gaze.

There was a pause. "Well, this has been sufficiently awkward," Meredith burst out. She reached into the bag at her feet, pulling out a set of bongos.

I inwardly rolled my eyes. _Music kids._

She began with a random-sounding rhythm, eventually belting out, "He stole my heart and my cat – get me off this crazy ship called 'love'." She did a roll for us, and then yelled as though to a crowd, "Thank you, San Francisco!"

Mari looked at me, laughter in her eyes. "Um… why?" she asked.

Meredith shrugged. "Because I can. You write music?" she asked my girlfriend, who was already reaching for her guitar.

"Sometimes," she answered. "When the mood strikes."

"Where did that even come from, Mere? You have a boyfriend," Denise asked.

"How is old Lucan?" Julia added.

"Well it's not like I haven't ever been single before," Meredith replied. "And he's great. He's really, really great," she added, smiling.

"Well somebody's getting something!" Denise joked.

"What's it like being the only one of us with a steady boyfriend?" Jaime added.

"I have a boyfriend," the girl I didn't know spoke for the first time, and I was forced to look in her direction.

For some reason, Lauren was the only one who looked shocked by this information. I personally thought that that was something you should ask before climbing onto somebody's lap.

"You didn't tell me that." She shifted uncomfortably, making to get up before the girl's hands landed on her hips.

"I don't have to tell you everything," she said, more roughly than necessary. "I'm Nettie, by the way. Nice of y'all to introduce me to the lesbo." She looked around the room, her blonde hair perfectly curled and flowing in waves down her shoulders.

Mari and I shared a look. That was a pretty gutsy thing to say when she had a hot girl on her own lap.

"Sorry," Lauren murmured uncomfortably.

"Meredith started playing," Julia pointed out, cutting off Lauren's apology.

An apology Nettie didn't deserve, I might add.

Or maybe I was just being biased. She probably a decent person that made an untasteful joke, and I was just painting her aura black because that's what I wanted to see.

"Whatever. You're Freya?" she asked pointedly.

I nodded.

"I heard there's a pool in this apartment complex," she continued, leaning forward and staring at me. "How drunk do I have to get you girls before you'll dive in?"

"Um, well it's October, so…" Julia paused. "Is there even water in the pool?" she asked Mari and me.

"Yeah," my girlfriend answered unhelpfully. "It's supposed to be heated, so they keep it filled and filtered."

"Supposed to be?" Jaime cut in.

"Yeah… the heating element broke years ago and they haven't fixed it," I reminded them. I could not handle seeing this many girls in bathing suits, not matter how beautiful Mari looked in one. I didn't want her to know anything had happened.

At least not to find out this way. I'd have to come clean at some point – wouldn't it be better if she found out from me?

"So how drunk?" Nettie asked, producing several bottles of various types of alcohol from her bag.

I met Lauren's eyes and saw them flash with defiance. She grabbed one of the bottles from Nettie's hand, popped the cap, and downed half of it before Julia grabbed the bottle.

"Easy there, tiger," Nettie taunted Lauren, grinning when her face shifted to uncertainty. "You're sexy when you're drinking," I heard her whisper before Julia snapped, "Lauren!"

Her tentativeness gone, the tiny girl moved towards Nettie and said, in a raspy voice that sent chills down my spine, "Just blame it on the alcohol."

For a terrifying moment, I was sure she was going to kiss Nettie. Instead, she turned her head to the side and almost yelled, "C'mon! Is this girl's night or what?"

I saw Meredith, Jaime, Denise, and Mari loosen at her words. Julia and I made eye contact and made a silent bargain to remain sober.

In no time the stereo was blaring and everyone was dancing. I kept my back to the dance floor by staying with Mari, getting protection from the ferocity of her gaze. She hadn't drunk too much, just enough to get her saying things like "We should just put all the stupid assholes in the world on a spaceship and get rid of them. They'd be too dumb to figure out how to survive, but we wouldn't actually have to kill them," and "I'm not musically inclined enough to be flammable," and "Let's go on an improbable creature chase! …" and instantly serious: "… Don't swerve into the sky."

Okay, so maybe she was a little more drunk than I care to admit. It didn't matter – Julia and I would be driving everyone home, if anyone went home tonight. There was too much alcohol involved to imagine it ever ending.

At some point Mari and I got separated and I found myself dancing with Meredith. She managed to blast legit-sounding harmonies into my ear, even drunk. Jaime and Denise cut in, and I chanced a glance around the room.

Lauren and Nettie were wrapped around each other, mouths open but not singing, hips grinding together.

I fought to control the rage that bubbled up to the surface. I had no right to be jealous. I didn't have a relationship with Lauren – not at all. I'd only met her yesterday!

… And I had a girlfriend.

A girlfriend who at this moment re-entered the room from the bathroom, saw Lauren and Nettie, and walked over to them. She slid her hand in between their gyrating bodies. I heard her say, "Let's not do anything we wouldn't do sober."

When that had no impact, she changed tactics and yelled, "Let's go swimming!"

Every girl in the room erupted into cheers.

"I didn't bring a suit," Julia protested.

"Just go in your bra and underwear! It's the same thing!" Lauren shot back, already stripping the belt off her jeans.

I averted my eyes as Julia stopped her with a firm hand on Lauren's wrist. "_You _brought one," she reminded her.

"Then wear it," Lauren answered simply, and dragged a grinning Nettie after her to the door.

I sighed. "Grab your stuff, we can change down there. I'll make sure they don't wake up any neighbors who have managed to sleep through this," I told the rest of the room.

"I'll bring your suit," Mari called after me.

"And towels! Remember the towels," I answered, smiling back at her as I followed Lauren and Nettie, picking up the shoes they lost on their trip down the long hallway between units. I got worried when I turned the corner and found Lauren's shirt the fourth stair down.

I picked it up and bolted after them. The pool itself was fenced, only accessible with an apartment key, but they could hop the fence. Something about them being alone in the pool together irked me.

Thankfully they'd stopped at the gate in the darkness, Nettie starting to step over the fence and Lauren holding onto her arm, possibly to stop Nettie and possibly to hold herself up.

_She's probably too drunk to swim,_ I thought as I passed the patio area and playground. But the pool wasn't that deep and I wasn't planning on letting either of them out of my sight for a second. Lauren was definitely the drunkest person at the party, and I was going to make sure she stayed safe and as sane as possible.

"Hang on a sec, I've got it," I called, running up to them. I could merely see their silhouettes, as the only lighting came from beneath the water in the pool. I fumbled with the key in the darkness on our side of the fence. It didn't help that the gate always stuck anyway.

Of course Lauren chose that moment to hug me from behind, still topless. _Why, God?_ I asked as I finally managed to unlock it. Nettie ran in, but Lauren pulled herself closer to me, one hand sliding underneath my shirt.

"Your skin is so soft," she whispered in my ear. I could smell the alcohol on her breath as she rested her chin on my shoulder, warming me against the cold October air. Her hand didn't tickle this time, just brushed my belly gently, kindly.

I wished I could give in. I wished I could just stand here and enjoy this feeling, a girl so beautiful she made straight girls question their sexuality holding me, caressing me, whispering into my ear.

But I couldn't do that. Not with my tipsy, loveable girlfriend on the way, not with the tiny girl drunk, not with her shirt in my hand instead of covering her body. "Lauren, you need to let go now," I forced myself to say.

Her skin was so warm that I shivered when she pulled away, a frown on her gorgeous face. She walked around me and stared me in the eyes, looking like she was going to say something important.

"I wish you were drunk," was what came out. "I don't wanna wait like a good girl." She grabbed my hand before walking towards the pool where Nettie was waiting, letting my fingers slide through hers.

It took me a moment to realize she'd taken her shirt, which she dumped on the nearest lawn chair and kept walking.

I saw her hands go down to the front of her body in the ambient light from the pool, undoing the button of her jeans I guess. They slowly slid off her body, showing more and more of her underwear and smooth, muscular legs. My breath caught in my throat as she stepped completely out of them and into the water.

There could have been steam coming off her body in the cool night air and what must be frigid water. I couldn't take my eyes off her as she submerged herself until only her strong shoulders and the shape of her head were visible from the pool, lit only by the underwater lights. She looked like she was some sort of glowing water goddess, effortlessly beautiful and powerful. How did she manage that, even drunk?


	7. Chapter 7

So I have no excuse for being so excruciatingly late with this update except for starting University… sorry about that. I hope someone still cares about this story.

This scene was meant to be a throwaway thing, just a reason for Lauren to know where they lived... and it turned into a two-chapter story arc. Go figure. Sometimes these things write themselves. There's more Lauren coming, I promise. And for the record, I have never hated a character of mine as much as I hate Nettie. She's just a person made out of everything I hate; betrayal, homophobia, hypocrisy. And No one messes with Glow*. I cringed while writing that.

I know nothing of the Starkid girls' actual lives. The backstories I invented are purely fictional. I just took various hardships that people around me have had and applied them.

Fair warning, there's an exceptional amount of swearing in this chapter.

**Chapter 7**

The next several hours were torture. Every Starkid girl is beautiful, and it's even more difficult to keep your eyes to yourself when your girlfriend talks you into _just one drink_ (which I only accepted with a nod from Julia), and then convinces you to take a dip in what must be the coldest water possible.

It's so cold everyone huddles together in various states of nakedness.

So cold your only wish is to huddle by a fire instead.

So cold your girlfriend clings to you and trails kissed down your neck, whispering things she'd never say sober – at least, not in public. And damn, is it hard to focus on conversation when that's going on.

What I managed to focus on was Lauren being the first one out, wrapping herself in a towel from the pile and sitting next to Julia. Something about that woke me up; maybe it was Lauren in her underwear, even just the glimpse I allowed myself as Mari whispered in my ear and kept me warm in the water.

We all stayed at the water's edge so we could talk. Turns out Jaime, Meredith, and Denise had all brought their swim suits, but they too were hanging out with us. I managed to catch bits of conversation between kisses with my girlfriend and training my eyes to stay away from Lauren. We talked about boys, we talked about girls, we talked about colorful sharpies – we talked about anything and everything. Philosophy, movies, growing up – and it was one of the best conversations I've had in a while – once I fixed my gaze on Jaime, Meredith, and Denise, and Julia. I learned things about those girls I'd never even dreamed of – can you imagine people mocking Meredith or Denise? They'd both been tortured in school, and although they both joked about it, I could tell there was real pain there. Julia's dad had left when she was seven, and Jaime's godmother was in the military, on the frontlines.

Lauren stayed pretty quiet as we went around telling stories, her eyes beginning to clear, sobering a little as time wore on. Nettie, who had taken to swimming around the pool every so often, jumped into the conversation whenever the subject was irrelevant to what she had to say.

Needless to mention, Mari and I got interrupted the most. By the time Nettie hauled herself out of the water to sit next to Lauren, we were fed up.

"Honestly, there's nothing you can do," she was saying as Lauren wrapped half her towel around Nettie's shoulders. She left her hand there as Nettie continued, "Just tell the girls on your website that there's no way they're ever going to be happy with themselves."

"Have you ever heard a little song called 'No Way'?" Meredith asked pointedly, obviously referring to the one in AVPS.

Nettie continued as if Meredith hadn't spoken. "No matter how hot you are, there's always going to be someone sexier than you who'll get the guy," she explained. "There's no point in trying to 'get confident' or whatever. Guys will fuck you and girls will fuck you over."

"We don't fuck each other over," Lauren said quietly. "Not anyone here."

Nettie laughed. Actually it was more of a sneer, but for some reason my subconscious was still giving her the benefit of the doubt. "Right, they'll just fuck you instead," she answered with a meaningful look at Mari and me.

"Woah. Uncool," Denise told her.

"Really? You think they wouldn't jump at the chance?"

"You did not just say that," Mari answered, stepping closer in the water. "What part of _we're a couple_ did you not get?"

But Nettie never answered Mariana. Instead she was looking sideways at Lauren, who had absentmindedly left her arm wrapped over her shoulder when she'd covered Nettie with the towel. They were sitting extremely closely as a result, and Lauren's other hand had just fallen onto Nettie's knee.

"The fuck are you doing?" Nettie asked.

Lauren jumped. Her hand moved instantly, but her arm got caught in the fabric. "I was just trying…"

"Are you hitting on me?" Nettie interrupted.

Lauren sputtered, her face panicked. "No, I just thought you'd be cold… it's October…"

"Alright, there's just a little too much gay here for me." She pulled the towel so it fell off Lauren's shoulders and wrapped it around herself, covering her body.

"Excuse me?" Mariana said coldly as Lauren's face crumbled. She stood quickly and ran out the pool gate.

"Why would you ever say something like that?" Julia asked as she stood and followed her roommate.

"Hey, I tell it like it is," Nettie yelled after her.

"You tell it like you wanna insult people," Mari retorted. "You think that makes you a badass?" She stepped closer, and I could see the muscles in her back and neck flexing. She always carried her tension in her neck. She was getting ready for a fight.

"Well I know _someone_ who likes it." Her gaze flickered over to me.

"Seriously?" I asked, coming toward her in the pool and shivering when the night air touched my skin. "You think I like you?" I crossed in front of Mari.

She sneered, and this time it truly was a sneer. "I've seen you looking at me when you think no one's watching."

"You're kidding, right? You think that was at you?" She must have seen me during my weak moments, the seconds I allowed myself to glance at Lauren. Mari couldn't find out like this.

Thankfully, she kept running her mouth. "Oh, I know it was me." She let the towel slide down her body, showing the top of one breast. "But I like men, honey. Unless you mind kissing me for a show for him –"

"Okay, that's it, out." I heard Mari's voice from just behind me, sharp and commanding.

"Scared I'm right?" Nettie taunted, her voice smooth as her legs.

"I'm _afraid_," my girlfriend threatened, her voice lower than usual, "that you've outstayed your welcome. Get out." Turning slightly, I saw her eyes burning with annoyance and possibly hatred at the suggestion I would ever cheat on her.

She _really_ could not find out this way. For Lauren as much as for me.

"Looks like I struck a nerve." Nettie bent forward, slinking out over the pool like a snake. Mari almost recoiled in disgust, but held her ground as the blonde glided towards her face. "Lost your girlfriend before? Has she been led astray? Ever fallen in some tiny girl's arms?" She paused, thinking her next attack through. "Have you ever asked her?"

"I don't need to ask her something that stupid."

"Oh, I think you do. Blame it on the alcohol, baby, but your girl has some explaining to do."

At this, Mari slid to the side of the pool and stepped out in one fluid motion. "_You_ have some explaining to do." The water ran down her body, streamlining her curves and making me hyper-aware that this woman was incredible. She was so strong, so unbelievably loyal, and she was standing up for the girl I'd kissed.

Well, the girl who'd kissed me. She might not have known, but she was still defending the honor of the woman who was threatening to take me away from her. She was calling out the tiny dancer's friend, the one Lauren had invited here to show me she didn't need me. Now that girl was turning on her and my girlfriend was the only one standing in the way.

Mariana turned her head to the Starkid girls, still in the pool and watching the scene unfold. "Why did you even invite her?"

"Lauren invited her," Jaime explained. "We don't usually get other people to come to our girl's nights, but she insisted and you know how stubborn Lauren can be…"

"But saying shit like that…" Meredith started, then just shook her head.

"That's too far. My brother's gay, and he had a hard enough time coming to terms with it. I really think you should go." Denise continued for her.

Mariana just stood there, her bronze skin seeming to glow in the light of the pool. Her muscles rippled, the look in her eye so intense it even scared _me_. I was glad I wasn't Nettie, and equally glad the other girls were backing her up now, although she didn't look like she needed it.

"And then you go and make Lauren run. What the hell was that?" Meredith added.

"What kind of person makes the girl who invited her go and cry on a swing set?" Mari continued. "You need to get out of here before we force you out."

Nettie looked up at her, her face only reading smug bitchiness. "You think I can't?" Mari asked. "Try me, I'm a volunteer firefighter. I could kick your ass if I wanted to."

"But you wouldn't want to promote the stereotype, would you?" Nettie pulled the towel off her shoulders and let her chest show around the demi-cup bra she was wearing – like Lauren, she'd never changed. "The aggressive black dyke?"

I had no control. I reached out and slapped her across the face.

The next second she was gone. Mari had grabbed her by both shoulders and lifted her up so she was forced to stand or crash back onto the concrete. "Get your clothes and get out," my girlfriend snarled. When Nettie hesitated, she added, "You're going to end up on the street outside our apartment either way. Clothes or not, it's your choice."

Nettie took a step past her and wrapped her skirt back around her hips, pulling her tank top over her shoulders. Mari stepped closer and walked her out of the pool area and across the lawn to the doors that lead out of the building courtyard and eventually through it, onto the street. Nettie wouldn't be able to get back into the courtyard where the pool was without a key.

When my girlfriend kicks ass, she makes sure it stays that way.

I watched them leave. How had someone like Mari fallen for someone like me? She's kickass and crazy smart, but she only fights for the things that matter. She's the kindest person I've ever met… she goes out of her way to help everyone, even strangers on the street. We once brought home a random crying girl who couldn't handle her family because of Mari. We've taken in illegal animals until she found them homes.

I shot a glance around the pool and noticed someone very important still missing. "Lauren," I whispered, and hauled myself out of the pool, grabbing two towels from the pile as I left the area. I wasn't sure if Julia had thought to bring one.

Of course she had, being Julia. In the light that was shed from some neighbor's window close by, I saw one wrapped around the tiny figure sitting on a swing. A silhouette that had to be Julia, still dry as she'd never ventured into the pool, hovered nearby, holding on to the chains of the tiny woman's swing and talking quickly.

"Don't be ridiculous," Lauren was saying as I approached. "She's just being Nettie. She says stupid shit all the time."

"Stupid shit, yes. Homophobic stuff that looked pretty damn serious to me, no. I don't know why you're friends with her, Lo."

"She's…" she stopped when she saw me. "Freya…"

"I was…worried," I admitted as I handed one of the towels to Julia, unfolding the other one and wrapping it around myself. I hadn't even noticed how cold I was since getting out of the pool. At night. In October. In Chicago.

"You're blue," Lauren commented. "You're cold."

"And you ran away," I answered. "You bolted when Nettie started saying shit that barely applies to you. Why?" I challenged her.

"Because… you know why. Because it does apply."

Julia looked at me suspiciously. "What do you know that I don't?"

We were both silent. "You're going to have to tell me sometime, Lo," she pushed.

"It doesn't have to be now, though…" Lauren whispered.

Julia looked at me expectantly. "Not my secret to tell," I told her.

"Is she okay?" I should have expected Mari to follow me to the swings. She'd known somehow that's where Lauren would be. Of course she would follow me. I saw three other half-clothed, towel-wrapped figures picking their way toward us in the dark as well.

"_She_ is fine," Lauren answered for herself. Her face changed instantly from discomfort to defiant okay-ness. She's such a good actress, those who hadn't seen her face a moment ago believed her, even though they all knew her better than I did. "Look, I appreciate you guys coming to check on me, but can we just go back inside?" she continued. "I'm fine, I promise. I don't want to talk about it."

"About what, finding out your 'friend' is a total bitch?" Mari asked. Julia handed her the extra towel I'd brought for Lauren.

And Lauren didn't fight her like she'd argued with Julia. She just nodded and looked farther down before getting up and starting to walk towards the doors.

We followed her, catching up when she needed me to unlock the door. Mari had gone back to the pool to collect whatever we'd left behind, so it was a long procession back to our apartment.

Once there, Mari and I loaned out pj's and big t-shirts to the rest of the girls. We made hot chocolate and sat around the living room again, Julia never leaving Lauren's side and me never leaving Mari's. We were back to our corners, the tension gone. Her sleepy eyes searched me one last time as she curled up on the couch, hugging a pillow.

I'm fairly certain that Mariana knew in that moment that something had happened between us. She kept her curiosity to herself, though, trusting me and standing by what she'd told Nettie.

But she had lied to Nettie. She didn't know, but I really did have some explaining to do. I had to tell her. I owed her that much.


	8. Chapter 8

Okay, so this is a bit of a filler chapter. I'm sorry. I tried to make it as interesting as possible with the boys, but I needed a time-skip and I didn't want to just say "so some time passed"... so this happened. I'm sorry if you don't watch _Charmed_ - you might be a little confused. I tried to make it to where it wouldn't matter quite as much if you know nothing about it...

I still don't know or own anything except for my characters. Obviously. Because this is fanfiction, where no one owns anything except their characters. Glad that's clear.

Leave me a review, if you can! I love to get feedback. Every review gives Lauren a unicorn to ride.

**Chapter 8**

Lauren's voice woke me up the next morning.

"No… I can't do that… it's not even my house, Nettie…"

I raised my head from Mari's arm and saw her, standing with her back to the group, close to the kitchen. I caught the flash of her pink phone through her hair.

We'd all fallen asleep at various points in the night in the living room, Mari, Jaime, Meredith, and I on the floor. My second night in a row sleeping on the floor. This was not going to be nice to my spine.

"No, don't be ridiculous… they… they weren't…"

I couldn't listen to her anymore. I de-crinkled my body and walked over to her.

She didn't hear me coming. I tapped her shoulder and she spun around with a gasp.

"Freya… I didn't know…" she blushed, then forced a smile.

I held out my hand. Understanding me, she handed me the phone.

"Don't call Lauren again," I told Nettie, and hung up on her.

There was no time for anything more than a soft smile. Jaime's phone alarm sounded then, waking everyone else up. We panicked once we realized how late it was, and Mari rushed to class while I rushed to work. The Starkid girls scattered.

I started writing on my lunch break. I didn't know who I was writing about at first; I just worked with the image that came to mind. What I ended up with:

**Bipolar Actress**

A mystery –

We may never know what lies beneath,

In her heart of hearts,

That which she keeps hidden from us.

It is an art,

Her showing only what she wants,

Not an inch more.

If she doesn't want to be seen, she isn't.

But when she does –

Her fire is unmistakable.

Even from afar

She shines with a love

That none can match,

Her face illuminated as she turns

Her face upward,

Letting the sun kiss her cheeks,

Turning her hair

From dull brown

To a glimmering gold.

Halfway through, I realized I was writing about Lauren. How was it that she possessed my every thought? I couldn't even write without her interfering.

I decided to try again. It couldn't be _that_ hard. I searched my mind for a mental image and began writing thinking of Mari.

**Talented**

Such sweet energy

Surrounded by talent, so natural

As she steps into the light,

Exposing herself to the world.

Somehow, although she's

Shedding her protective layers,

She feels no fear,

For she is so strong,

So powerful at her core,

As she steps onstage,

Dependent on no one.

I sighed. Obviously I had a problem. I sat back and ate quietly, checking my phone in case anyone tried to contact me.

The day wore on, boring as usual. Customers came and went. Around the end of my shift, though, Brian and Nick entered the store.

"Oh good, you're working today," Brian greeted me. "We need season 3. And 4. And 5."

I was confused for a minute. Two men had voluntarily watched 44 episodes of _Charmed_ in 2 days? How was that even possible?

"Did you guys sleep? At all?"

I was met with twin nods. "We slept… some," Nick confirmed.

"So. Much. Caffeine," Brian added. "We want to start writing as soon as possible, so…"

"Do you have a day off from work?" Nick asked me.

"Uh, yeah… I have the weekend and Monday off…"

Brian smiled his crazy coffee-induced smile at me. "That sounds good!" he paused. "No wait, that's bad because that means that we won't be able to finish the series before then…"

"We can still do some planning, though," Nick suggested, and I nodded.

The rest of the week went by pretty quickly, considering. I couldn't wait to see what kinds of plots were going to come to us, and I couldn't wait to start working with these comic geniuses. It'd be a nice change from the angst my life had become in the last day and a half.

When I arrived at Starkid Manor, I was greeted by a bear hug from Jim. He lifted me up, almost painfully, and when I landed it was from so high up that my legs buckled under me for a minute.

"Hi," he said as Nick appeared from around the corner.

"Hey, Bri! She's here!" Nick called.

"Hang on…" We heard from the other room. "Phoebe's singing about soup!"

I laughed. "'Lost and Bound'?" I asked.

Nick made a face somewhere between impressed and embarrassed. "You may have gotten us all addicted…"

I laughed. "Girl power is catchy, aint it? I'd rather see a woman kicking ass than be in the kitchen… although Phoebe _is_ in the kitchen in that scene, so..."

I let the phrase hang as the boys and I laughed. I followed Nick into the den where Brian, Matt, and Walker were watching the episode. Jim trailed behind us, finally settling down and eating a pear.

We finished the episode, and the boys looked at me. "So hi," Walker finally said.

"Yeah, welcome to Starkid Manor," Matt added.

"It's not quite as cool as the Halliwell Manor…" Brian continued sadly. He looked the most disheveled and sleep deprived, his hair sticking out all over the place.

I laughed again. "It's okay, nothing is as cool as the Halliwell Manor. Your little place will just have to do." I noticed a notebook sitting between the Langs, covered in notes. "What have you guys gotten so far?"

"Hm…" Before either of the brothers could read it, Walker grabbed the notebook from Nick's hands.

"Let's see… "Ha! Prue literally asked for it – what?"

"Phoebe locking her out in the like, third episode," Nick explained.

"Oh okay," Walker continued. "Creepy dad – evil?" his voice inflection was hilarious. "The Book of Shadows fights the demon… we could… what does that say? We could… use that."

"That's a good idea, actually," I interrupted his next sentence. "The writers keep saying that they want to make the Book as much of a character as possible… they were even considering making the spirit of the Book a real character at some point."

"But they never did?" Brian asked.

I nodded. "It's good parody material, though. We could make her so typically Halliwell – stubborn, passionate… maybe a little neurotic…"

The boys nodded, almost in unison. "Star that one," Brian told Walker.

"Hm… daddy issues – Piper's wasting time – does everyone turn evil in this series? – I cannot believe they just killed off a major character –"

"You're skipping!" Matt protested.

"Eh, everything else was dumb, anyway."

"Joe…"

"Look, clearly the most important thing to highlight is Prue's death." Walker protested earnestly.

"But how do you… parodize that without destroying the essence of the character?" I asked, possibly inventing a word in the process.

"Are you kidding?" Nick asked. "We killed so many characters in AVPM… there's not a single professor left…"

"Well… yeah. I guess I'll let you guys do that part," I joked. I wasn't totally sure I could put myself through killing Prue.

"Does she ever come back in the series?" Brian asked, a little too hopefully.

I sighed. "No. Pretty much everyone else does – no one stays dead on this show except for Prue and Andy. We see a shot of her back in season 5 – 'Cat House' – but that's it." I looked down sadly. "We don't even get a picture of her in the last episode. Now don't get me wrong, I love Paige – but it would have been nice to have that connection to Prue in the end."

The boys all nodded their agreement. "We can bring her back in ours," Matt assured us. "How about demons? Which demons are we including?" He wrestled his notebook back from Walker, who turned around and stole the rest of the apple Jim was now holding, smoothed the page, and uncapped his pen.

"Barbas, definitely. Cole, absolutely. The Source, probably pretty important. And… you guys haven't seen him yet, but we need a Drake. And Zankou. And The Seer, and Kyra, who you guys don't know yet."

"Okay, slow down… The Seer… and Kyra…" Matt muttered as he continued writing. Admiring the list, he added, "These your favorites?"

I nodded. "They're always dealing with demons trying to steal the Book… so much so that they've made fun of it on the actual show. We could do that, and then have some great scenes with the spirit of the Book kicking ass – or just being snarky, depending on how much power we want to give her."

"Why does the Book have to be a her?" Walker asked through a mouthful of apple. Jim took advantage of him being distracted by the glare I gave when I turned slowly to look at him and launched himself at the remains of his fruit. Walker tightened his grip on it, but Jim wrestled what was now essentially an apple core from his hand.

I tried to ignore the giggles that threatened to spurt from me at this exchange and maintain my threatening glare. "Are you kidding?" I managed with a straight face. "The Book of Shadows is a woman. Their powers are connected to the Book and the powers are passed down the female line." I drilled a hole in him with my eyes.

Fear never crossed his eyes, of course, being Walker, but he did answer with an "Okay, jeez," so I suppose I got my point across. At least I didn't just start laughing.

And the rest of the night continued in that way. We cracked jokes, mocked each other, and gathered a general storyline. We talked about girls and who we expected to cast as each character. Brian mentioned that Elona Finlay had been wanting to do another Starkid show, and she was considering coming down for auditions, especially when Brian had told her we were doing _Charmed_.

I tried to contain my excitement and failed miserably. The first thing I told Mariana when I got home that night was how excited I was. All of Team Starkid was a hoot, and trust me, I knew how lucky I was to have this opportunity – but each with each new Starkid I met, my excitement somehow grew. We group skyped Joey and Darren in LA a few times – it was one of the best moments of my life. It was incredible to be able to tell Darren how much his music had affected my life.

I was amazed by how easily I fit into their group. I'd always been the outsider, but now I was part of something others would kill to be a part of. It was the best feeling in the world, working with these people. We wrote well together – sharing and critiquing each other's work, tearing it apart and putting it back together. Julia came by a couple times and helped us write, which was fantastic because we seemed to have the same opinions on each character, and who we wanted to see more of.

I didn't see a lot of Lauren in those few weeks. We talked a little, but mostly when we were in the same room she was focused on her friends. She seemed to be back on track as the girl she exposed to the world; bubbly, silly, and caring. Every time I saw her, she was laughing.

And through it all, Mariana stayed by my side. She fit into the group seamlessly as well, developing inside jokes with Starkids I didn't know about. She got particularly close with Meredith, Brian, Walker, and Jim, and the five of them were almost constantly talking. She started texting Joey in LA too, trading jokes and pop-culture references that I rarely understood.

But our relationship stayed strong. In fact, it was even stronger than before, because now we had more to talk about. I've always loved Mari, but she was a lot more interested in science and I was into writing, so we didn't have that much in common beyond music. She had her friends from school and I had my acquaintances from work. I loved sharing this world with her.

It was during one of our quiet nights at home, however, that there came a knock at the door. Mari took one look at me and saw that I wasn't moving, so she got up and walked the 3 steps to the door.

My gaze locked on the TV (_Lost Girl_, this time), I didn't look up until I heard someone let out a sob.

Mari was blocking whoever it was's face, but I saw a flash of brown hair over Mari's shoulder as the tiny brunette bolted to the side and down the hallway with a whispered, "I'm sorry."

Mari followed her instantly and I jumped to my feet, reaching the door and grabbing the frame to spin myself around and follow them. I saw Mari reach the girl about halfway down the hall, wrapping her arms around her tiny body and supporting her as her legs buckled beneath her.

My brain hurried to grasp the concept of the legs and back I recognized as I ran, dropping to my knees beside them.

Mari was holding the dancer close to her chest, letting her cry as shudders ran through her body.

I took her hand, squeezing it and letting her catch her breath. "Lauren…"


	9. Chapter 9

University makes it impossible to get things done and edited in a timely manner. Sorry. I hope you guys like this chapter, a little crying scene and some angst. Reviews are rainbows.

I obviously own Team Starkid and Lauren is in love with me. That's why I'm writing fanfiction about it. Thought that was clear.

**Chapter 9**

Lauren looked at me through the veil of tears. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here… I was down the street and I got the call and I…"

Her voice stopped, seemingly without her consent. Unsure, I glanced at Mari, who made up my mind for me. "Let's get you inside, Lo." Holding onto Lauren's shoulders, she gently lifted the crumpled body until they were both standing and kept an arm around her as we walked back to our apartment. Lauren refused to let go of my right hand, even when walking through the door. My arm was twisted unrecognizably by the time we sat down on the couch.

"What happened?" my girlfriend asked.

"What call?" I continued, remembering what she'd said.

Lauren took a moment during which Mari handed her the box of tissues I hadn't even noticed on the coffee table. "My grandma… and my cousin were driving, and…" she buried her face in a tissue. "They got hit… by another car, and…" she couldn't finish the sentence.

I didn't know what to do, so I just wrapped my arm around her like Mari had and brought her closer to me, letting her head fall onto my shoulder. "I'm sorry…" I whispered. "It's going to be alright…" I wish I knew what to say!

At this, she turned and looked at me. "No. They're already gone. Both of them. No one thought to call me until today, even though they died yesterday!" There was a hint of tired rage in her voice, as though she wanted desperately to not believe it but had heard it too many times not to.

She turned her body towards me more, curling into a ball and fastening her arms around my waist. Mari's hand stroked her back comfortingly. "Oh honey…" she whispered.

But in the end she seemed as much at a loss for words as I was. There was no way to fix this; we made eye contact and agreed to just let her cry this one out.

"Can you text Julia, tell her we've got her and not to worry?" I asked, as my hands had been pinned to my body when Lauren transferred her clinging to me. "Well, tell her to worry, but not about her being missing. And put in a Disney movie or something."

My girlfriend nodded and picked "My Neighbor Totoro." Not technically a Disney movie, but it would do. Mari grabbed her phone and headed to the kitchen, scrolling through to find Julia's number. "I'll make some hot chocolate," she told us.

Lauren sobbed all the way through the opening credits, but slowly looked up and away from me towards the TV. Her body stopped shaking, although she kept her arms wrapped firmly around me. Her breathing calmed as she allowed herself to get wrapped up in the world Miyazaki had created.

Mari re-entered the room with three mugs. Lauren detached herself from me to reach over and grab ours from the coffee table, where Mari had put them before settling back into the couch with us, on Lauren's other side. "Julia says, 'Take care of Lo, and let me know if you need anything,'" Mari informed us before tossing her phone aside.

Lauren smiled sadly. "I'll be okay," she said as she handed me my mug. "I just need to think about something else… Julia will make me talk about it, she usually does. I just… don't want to right now."

My girlfriend smiled back at her. "Well, you're welcome to stay here for the night."

"We'll have a Miyazaki movie and _Charmed_ marathon. I don't have to work tomorrow," I added.

"Well I have class, so I'll be turning in soon," Mari said, "But I've been wanting to see 'Howl's Moving Castle' again for a while now."

"I love that movie!" I said. I was glad to see Lauren's face brighten a little.

"Well then, I guess we have to watch it…" the Starkid murmured, taking my hand in hers and sipping the hot chocolate. "This is really good, by the way," she added to Mari. "It's zingy."

My scientist grinned. "It's my specialty," she explained.

"Nice word choice, do you mind if I use that someday?" I asked Lauren.

She shook her head, then realized how ambiguous that could have been. "No, I don't mind," she clarified. "Not, no, I do mind."

We laughed a little, careful not to spill the drink. She settled back into me, her back to my side. All heads turned back to the TV.

A movie and a half later, and Lauren was asleep. Her cup had been discarded on the coffee table, she had wrapped her arms back around me, and she was now curled up leaning into me, her breathing regular.

The movie ended, and Mari shifted. She reached over to gather the mugs. "She asleep?" she asked me.

I wiggled to test it, then nodded when Lauren didn't budge from her spot on my chest. "Yeah. Poor girl, I hope she's okay. Two deaths in the family is a hard thing to deal with."

Mariana's face fell again, and she muttered "Stupid Driver" under her breath.

I laughed a little, trying not to disturb the sleeping girl in my arms. "I appreciate the reference," I told her. I loved the way her face lit up when I complimented her, even if it was about a Little White Lie reference. "You going to bed?"

She nodded. "Are you going to stay with her tonight?"

I looked down at the tiny dancer. She looked even smaller now, curled into a ball, no energy. I nodded. "What is it tomorrow morning, Chem?" I asked Mari, trying to distract myself from staring at Lauren for too long.

My girlfriend frowned. "Bio and Calc," she corrected me, a little annoyed. "You know that."

I blushed. Why had I not thought that through? "Yeah… sorry, I've been really busy. Trying to write my own things while working on the script for these guys…" I looked down at the girl in my arms again, still in awe of the fact that she'd chosen our place to come to in her time of need. Jaime didn't live that far away, she could have gone there if she was in the area like she'd said.

"Yeah… it's fine," Mari's voice brought me back out of my thought process. I looked up and watched her leave, letting myself admire her form and the proud way she held herself.

But she seemed hesitant tonight. She paused at the doorway to our room and looked to the side, meeting my eyes. Very quietly, she whispered, "You love her, don't you?"

My heart stopped. She knew. How did she know? Was I not careful enough, or was I just that bad of an actress? _Can you blame me?_ I thought, and pushed the idea away, searching for something to say in response. I couldn't deny it; Mari knew me far too well for me to lie to her face. _ And apparently too well for me to lie to her backside, as well._

I shook my head, but she knew that wasn't my answer. She waited impatiently, her eyes searching mine. _How had she known?_ _How could I have been so stupid as to fall for the girl in the first place?_

Oh right. She'd pinned me to the floor and kissed me. A girl so beautiful she made straight girls question their sexuality had pinned me to her bedroom floor and stuck her tongue down my throat; how was I supposed to _not_ fall for her? What could I have done?

A voice in the back of my mind answered _you could have not kissed her back, you could have fought harder, broken away sooner, not looked into her eyes when she asked you to_,but I clamped down on the thought. Mari needed an answer.

"I love you, Mari," is what came out. It wasn't a lie – but she knew it wasn't the whole truth.

"But you love her too," she answered, her eyes staring straight into mine. "Everyone can see it, and what's worse I think I can." She took one step back towards me, then stopped. "Has anything happened between you two? Physically, I mean."

This was it. I knew this day would come, where I would have to tell her. Then she would know, and her heart would be broken – not only that it had happened, but that I hadn't found time to tell her. _Why had I not told her the day it happened?_

Because I'd been keeping Lauren's secret. I'd told her I wouldn't tell anyone what she had done because it gave me a convenient excuse to lie to my girlfriend.

I searched for a way to word it to where she wasn't to blame, to where Mari wouldn't know it had been Lauren who made the move. So she wouldn't know –

Who was I kidding? Mari would know. Because she knew me. She knew that even if I liked someone else, I would never make the first move, not while I was with her. She'd know instantly if I tried to take the blame for it.

So I destroyed my loyalty to both the women I loved that day. "She kissed me. The day we met," my voice told her without my approving the wording.

Mari looked like she'd been punched in the stomach. She let out a sound somewhere between "Oh" and a strangled "Aw," and sat down on the arm of the couch.

And she just looked at me for a minute. "I swear, I couldn't have moved if I'd wanted to – she had my arms pinned to the floor, I couldn't shake her off. She's a dancer and gymnast; she's strong as hell and…" I gave up. There was no excuse.

"But you didn't want her to stop." Mari's voice dropped like a stone in the silence that was only broken by our breathing: Lauren's slow and steady, Mari's rasping, mine gasping for air.

Suddenly, my girlfriend launched herself forward and kissed me hard on the lips. She held my face in both hands and pulled me into her slightly, but for some reason she didn't seem bent on disturbing Lauren.

In fact, I don't think she even touched Lauren, but I had little awareness of the actress as Mari poured her emotions into my mouth and through the rest of my body, trying to show me how much she loved me.

But she didn't need to. I knew. And I hadn't lied to her when I told her I loved her; I kissed her back as passionately as I could, desperately wanting her to know that. I hadn't lied about that and I never would. She was my first love, the first girl who had ever made me feel like I was worth something. She'd seen someone worth saving and pulled me out of depression, she'd inspired me when all hope was gone, she'd loved me more than anyone else ever had. Probably more than Lauren did.

She pulled back a little, and reluctantly I let her. "As long as you know that I'm not letting you go without a fight…" she whispered against my lips.

"I'm not going anywhere," I assured her. "I love you, Mari. Nothing can change that." I wrenched my left arm out of the hold Lauren had on it and brought my hand gently to her face. I kissed her again, softly this time.

She pulled away again, her eyes wet. I hated myself for doing this to her. "Stay with her tonight," she whispered, the tears spilling over and running down her brown cheeks. "She needs you more than I do right now. We'll talk tomorrow – I have class in the morning, but I have a break at 11."

As if I needed reminding. After she'd gotten me with the schedule mishap, my brain had latched on to her Monday schedule. "I know. She'll be gone by then," I told her. "I'll take her home. Julia will take care of her."

Mari just looked at me again sadly. She kissed me one more time and left, closing the door behind her as she entered our bedroom with its connecting bathroom.

I was left looking at the wall, until it dawned on me to check that Lauren was still asleep. I looked down at my precious cargo, her arms still wrapped around my torso and pinning my right arm to my side, her legs curled beneath her. She muttered something in her sleep and snuggled closer.

My now-free left hand brushed her hair back from her forehead so I could see her face better. My thumb wiped the tear tracks from each eye before resting on her smooth cheek, her skin warm and welcoming.

She was so beautiful, and effortlessly so. Even with her face scrunched up, snot and tears pouring out as they had been, she'd managed to look flawless, which I'm pretty sure defies the laws of logic and attractiveness simultaneously. She was just too perfect; I felt a little imperfect around her.

But she made me happy. I found her fascinating and interesting; I couldn't read her like I could read Mari. She had this energy around her that made her glow, even when heartbroken.

But was it love, like Mari had said? Was I in love with Lauren Lopez?

I had no answer. If you'd asked me before I met her, I would have said 'yes' instantly, Mari or no. But now that it was real, it was different somehow.

My legs were cramping, one of them folded underneath me and the other being increasingly crushed by Lauren's weight. I shifted, and took her with me, laying her back slowly on the couch, supporting her head with my free hand. I un-curled her legs and stretched them out, then spread myself out next to her, not wanting to remove her arms from around my body.

I hovered over her for a minute, propped up on my elbows. I looked down at her closed eyes, her nose…

My gaze lingered on her lips, full and waiting. It was hard to believe that a few weeks ago, she'd connected them with mine.

_Not that I fought very hard,_ I reminded myself. I had wanted her to kiss me. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to kiss her now.

On a sudden impulse, I did. I wanted to feel it again, I wanted to compare it to the way I felt when Mari kissed me. I wanted to be selfish and not think about how this would hurt my girlfriend if she found out.

But no major disaster struck. Lauren didn't wake up and Mari stayed in our room. The spark was still undeniably there, but no stronger than it had been when Mari had kissed me just now.

Which was a still a problem, but at least I had confirmation that my feelings for Mariana were as strong as I'd thought in comparison. There was a reason I'd stayed with her; I was going to honor that.

I lay down next to Lauren for the night. The couch was so narrow I was halfway on top of her, my weight to the side and against the cushion, but somehow it was comfortable. Her arms held me, protected me from the nightmares that threatened, nightmares I'd had before in which I hurt Mari.

Those dreams were a reality now, but even though it was Lauren's fault I couldn't make myself dislike her or fear her. Safe in her arms, I let myself be lulled to sleep by her quiet breathing.


End file.
